INTERVIEW: SIPPING WITH THIRSTY

I had the pleasure of getting a little tispy with THIRSTY, asked some questions about Crossfade Responsibly along with what the meaning of Thirsty is all about.  We talk about never being sober and how people are trying to “Get Like Him”.

LIZ: Tell me about the first time you ever drank, what did you drink and what was the atmosphere?
THIRSTY: I remember being a victim of the cliche of a parent servinf their kid grape juice and telling them it’s wine and I acted all “drunk”, I was probably 6 or 7, but that doesn’t really count.  I think I was well phased into drinking, like, I guess the first time I got too drunk was high school at a party and it was just like bottles of liqour there and a buncha dumb kids throwing up.  Honestly, the moment that stands out, I think, it was this girls sweet 16.  I remember she was crying, drunk, looking at her trashed house.
LIZ: Were you one of the culprits for trashing the house or are you innocent (until proven thirsty)?
THIRSTY: I was drinking whatever was in front of me.  I think I remember something purple, like a purple vodka.  I was being as respectful as I could.
LIZ: Can I tell you about the first time that I drank?
THIRSTY: Yeah!! Of course.
LIZ: Okay.  So I was 14 and a half, working at a grocery store.  My parents told me that with my first paycheck they would buy me alcohol.  I got a 4-pack of Sparks.  I was invited to this motel party that was super super sketchy.  I ended up having my back turned to the bed of two people having sex, and I was so awake from the caffeine yet inebriated that it was hands-down, one of the most confusing moments of my life.  I wasn’t watching them have sex or anything voyeuristic, but I was like “So, /this/ is what drinking is like?”
THIRSTY: Yeah, not the best situation.  Wow.  Thank you for telling me that, that’s crazy, hahaha.

LIZ: What is your drink of choice?
THIRSTY: That’s difficult, it switches a lot.  I think if I could have anything it’d be a good champagneeeee.  But in terms of cocktails, I will always see if the bartender can make a daiquiri, which they fucking should.  It’s so simple.  Fuckin 2 oz. Bacardi fuckin 1 oz. lime jucie (fresh preferred but I’m not picky) and a little less than 1 oz. of simple syrup or a teaspoon of sugar, then shake and pour, it takes 1 minute.  I’m a rum drinker so if they can’t do it, I’m like, “Rum and coke, fine”.
LIZ: Yeah, they take forever doing it, and then you have to tip them too so they don’t put less liqour in it for the next drink.
THIRSTY: I always tip once at the beginning like 2 bucks and say I’ll tip more at the nend of the night depending on how much cash I have left.  If you make conversation, they are usually friendly.  If you tip $5 at the end of the night at the place you go, they usually respect that.
LIZ: That’s a good strategy – start slow and build rapport – it’s kinda like dating, y’know?
THIRSTY: Yeah, like, imma be here for a whilee.  $2 is a good buy in for a good pour and good service.

LIZ: Do you prefer two mini straws or one ‘regular’ sized straw with your drink?
THIRSTY: 2 regular straws.
LIZ: I like the mini straws, I think.
THIRSTY: I do too honestly, I love when they do that.  It like switches it up, I’m like “Yeah!!!!!”.  But on the day-to-day, I usually just receive the straw I am given.  I got a 40-pack of silly straws, for like $10 on Amazon.  I might get some mini straws.
LIZ: You should just carry a spare silly straw with you anytime you go out drinking.
THIRSTY: I doOOO!  omg
LIZ: How do people react when they see your silly straw as opposed to their regular, boring straws?
THIRSTY: The last 3 times I went to The East Room, I brought my own straw.  They see me… let’s just say, they wanna get like me.

LIZ: Do you ever worry about a water shortage?  If this were to happen, it could greatly affect your personal brand.
THIRSTY: I feel like the potentiality of a water crisis and our like neeeed for water and for all types of liquids is a really interesting thing.  Liquid makes it all happen.  I feel like someone needs to fix this water shit.  THat’s why I’m running for Water Conservation Board President in 2020.
LIZ: Solely so you can stay quenched on champagne, and also bring awareness to drinking champagne.
THIRSTY: Yeah, fuck, you need water to grow grapes, fuck.

LIZ: What is your overall artistic statement with Thirsty?
THIRSTY: It’s like when you’ve had enough and want some more, literally.  Like with anything, liquor’s just an acute analoguy.  It’s exploring consumption and overindulgence.
LIZ: The equivalent of “one toke over the line”, like, it’s human nature to want more even if you are adequately turnt?
THIRSTY: Yeah, exactly.  It’s like, one more can’t hurt.

LIZ: So, Thirsty doesn’t endorse Drink Responsibly, right?  It’s more, “Drink how you feel”?
THIRSTY: Yeah, trust yourself.  Don’t go WAY over the line.  Be safe, you don’t wanna like, fuck your whole life up for one night.
LIZ: Yeah, fuck the idea of liquor companies making us doubt ourselves.
THIRSTY: The best advice is to set yousrelf up for safety, like know how you will be getting home or somewhere saef that night, and then everything else is *thumbs up*.  And yeah, if you gotta throw up, just do it.  I haven’t gotten to that point in a while.

LIZ: Thirsty’s music is very direct and to the point, which in a way is going with your instincts, would you agree with that?
THIRSTY:  I would.  It’s like, the hook is the whole song usually, which is like, basic human instinct to repeat.
LIZ: The music is very impulsive, like you make it on the fly, it’s actually really awesome hearing the mantra of the project and taking into account the nature of the sound.
THIRSTY:  It usually takes no time at all to get a demo done, especially now that I have expanded to work with other producers.  It’s usually written when I’m drunk as fuck, and recorded a little tipsy.  The beats vary.  Sometimes I’ll just be high and making a beat.
LIZ:  I mean, why would Thirsty make music sober, right?  Seems counter-intuitive.
THIRSTY: I get sober sometimes.

LIZ: You’ve already worked with Blank Body and Leelo for two mind-blowing collabs, regarding workw ith other producers, do you have any other collaborations in mind, or album ideas?
THIRSTY:  I’ve put a lot of thought into this like, I have collabs in the works with a lot of people, but I don’t wanna give anything away so people don’t get their hopes up, but I wanna work with a lot of people and maybe put together an album length statement piece.  I wanna work with both Blank Body and Leelo again, but honestly I feel the magic has happened and it’d be fun to see what else could happen with them, because Blank Body is a verified genius with one of the best palletes in music right now, and a good friend too.  Leelo is an exciting new project from another genius and we work very well together.

 


LIZ: I definitely understand not wanting to give much away – plus Thirsty is so impulsive that like, you don’t really know who you aer going to work with until you’re in the moment.
THIRSTY:  Exactly like, there’s definitely a ton of people I want to work with and am working with but I don’t wanna jinx it.  I’m interested in working with anyone with a punk attitude.

LIZ: Do you think Thirsty is punk?  If so, what do you think you rebel against?
THIRSTY: Thirst and snootiness.
LIZ: Definitely, I mean your project is not pretentious, it’s incredibly fun and really doesn’t have any barriers.
THIRSTY:  Yeah, I wanna like do whatever feels right in the momrnt.  Especially after putting out “Get Like Me”.

LIZ: 420 or Thirsty: Do you love them equal, or do you have a bias?
THIRSTY: Honestly, I 420 more than I thirsty, but I love them both.  Howeverr, when I go out, I don’t usually like to be too 420.  Let’s just say I do both daily
LIZ: Do you crossfade or do you try to keep it separated?
THIRSTY:  I do and sometimes it’s difficult.  I feel like smoking a ton of weed then dirnking is great. Drinking a ton and then smoking weed can make you like a zombie.
LIZ: I think instead of Drink Responsibly, it should be Crossfade Responsibly, because it truly is an artform to stay balanced between the two.
THIRSTY: Yeah, exactly, like doing both together in harmony.  I ususally stay away from kush if I’m too drunk, but not all the time.  A drink when your high is chill.

LIZ: In life, what are you thirsty for more of?  What will quench Thirsty’s thirst?
THIRSTY: I’m thirsty for everything I want to bring into this world.  Like, I wanna open bars and hotels and nightclubs.  I won’t be quenched until I have a Vegas Casino.  I wanna bring Vegas back, honestly.
LIZ: I’ve seen people on reality TV make their own branded liqour and it seems that one of the main goals is so they have their own inventory of liqour.  Do you think that might be something you’ll do when you open up ventures of opening bars, hotels, and casinos?
THIRSTY: I would love to have my own sparkling sake or something.

LIZ: My mom, for her birthday this year, she rented a limo in Las Vegas and went out clubbing.  She’s like, in her 50’s.
THIRSTY: Amazing.  I’m going for my birthday this year.  My mom won a trip.

LIZ: Do you have any other final comments or anything you want to say?
THIRSTY:  I am working on an intense live experience and want to bring it to a town near you.

TO STAY HYDRATED, MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THIRSTY ON SOUNDCLOUD AND TWITTER

baby.destiny – ✌ a mix for the opps ✌

Have you heard “ a mix for the opps ” by baby.destiny?  Loopy synths added to Young Thug’s “Quarterback”, whirling air surrounding Trim, along with a constant bouncing haze that leaves you literally “Overdosing” on shattering glass and bass that leaves you thriving.  Drops that have something falling to the floor, whether it be your underwear or your body.  Play in the club or play in your ears and find yourself surrounded in the world of baby.destiny.  It may be a crazy world filled with “Positive Body Tension”, with punches thrown at you from any which direction, yet is so fluid that this may be the utopia in Orbit(al) that I have wanted my whole life.

baby.destiny is notorious for amazing mixes, including a mix that he did for SPF420 titlted “SVG420“, which is probably one of my favorite mixes of all time.

I don’t want to give too many surprises away, but “ a mix for the opps ” is certainly a mix that you can let go “on and on”, so listen below and be sure to follow baby.destiny on Soundcloud and Twitter.

SOUNDCHECK420: A Hormonal Memoir

SPF420
Art by Ivy Hollivana: https://1833.fm/existential-little-interviews-vol-45-ivy-hollivana/

In case you don’t know who I am, my name is Liz.  I’m in my mid-20’s and I am the co-founder and “Head Bitch in Charge” of SPF420.  Call SPF420 what you will – an online music venue, an art gallery – it doesn’t matter to me.  I’ve had experiences of a lifetime with SPF420, experiences that call for blood, sweat, tears, and sometimes even getting turned on.  I have seen my favorite artists and my best friends dance on camera and play songs that they want their fans to hear – I’ve had screaming phonecalls and technical difficulties occur, but one of the most important parts about SPF420 is the soundcheck.

Soundcheck is my favorite part of SPF420 – it is my personal time with the artist and we work hands-on with them in order their audio routed to SPF420 properly.  Some people could only dream of the time I get to spend with the artists we book.  I consider myself very lucky to be in a private (chat)room with people like Skylar Spence, Tjani, Ryan Hemsworth, and all the members of the talented and lengthy roster we have hosted at SPF420.  We shoot the shit and we work hard.  I make it very clear to all the artists that the SPF420 soundcheck can take 10 minutes or 10 hours, depending on how their equipment wants to communicate with our equipment.  10 hours is no understatement, I once was in a room with Magic Fades for about 8 hours, alongside 5+ people, attempting to troubleshoot their audio, for what was seen as the first major SPF420 show we ever had.  I’ve set alarms for 7AM to work with artists across the world solely for their convenience.  I have done soundchecks at the grocery store.  There are no limitations on my availability for SPF420.

SPF420 is a time-consuming job, or maybe I just think about it a bit too much.  Sometimes, my mind wanders down the rabbit hole.  As a result, I developed a low-key joke amongst the SPF420 crew about soundcheck being the equivalent of intercourse.  Yes, sex.  Fucking.  Making Love.

I’ve had to step away from the computer at times because of how frustrating this can be. At times, I will ball into the fetal position and cry for 5 minutes before getting immediately back to work.  It’s like, “Come on, you’re so close. Make me cum, please.” Other times, it’s within the snap of a finger and the artist gets the audio working, instant orgasm.

It isn’t just about that initial climax – it’s  also important that they keep the momentum going.  You know that saying, “it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean”? If you can keep that motion (or the BPM bumping) and my head bopping just while doing Soundcheck with me, I know that you know how to please your partner.  I’ve had artists play their albums 6 months in advance for me during soundcheck – tell me that artist doesn’t know how to make love.  The downside to this, is that I’ve had experiences with artists where they only soundcheck for LITERALLY 1 minute!  A one-minute-musician, such a bummer.  It made me question their sex life.  Sorry, pal.  If you don’t have time for soundcheck, do you have time to fuck?  Or, are you too busy fucking that you don’t have much time to soundcheck?  Both are crafts of their own, and both deserve an equal amount of love.

Once the sound is configured, most artists we work with give us a pretty nice session, 15-30 minutes.  Enough time for us to get in the groove, and wrap it up.  In my mind, we definitely go to third base.  I think they probably feel accomplished too, because doing soundcheck over the internet is a real bitch.

I love every single artist that we work with, but here’s a little secret: we want to go to third base with you.  Every.  Time.  Make it exciting for us and we will make it exciting right back at you.  Be sure to follow SPF420 on Twitter or Facebook for future shows!

cash wednesday – Ajax

Cash Wednesday has finally turned “hump day” into something to look forward to (certainly not Trash Wednesday anymore)!  This week, Cash gives us the track “Ajax”, a character off the amazing cartoon Duckman but also a great cleaning product.  Consider this Cash Wednesday track a cleansing of the soul and mark your calendars every Wednesday for new Cash Wednesday – also be sure to peep Cash Wednesday on SoundCloud!

SPF420 goes to Portland & does a livestream

So, I’ve watched Portlandia like 5 times.  I dunno, something about putting birds on handbags makes it more eccentric.  There’s some funny concepts like getting to know the meat that you are eating, or something.  It’s a cool show.  So we hear about Portland being like, some “crazy world” unlike any other so SPF420 is taking a little trip over there to see what’s going on.  We heard it’s like the “Amsterdam” of the United States, so we decided to bring our friends/family, my son tDoyle, my brother, CHAZZZY, my mysterious friends who are coming from Sweden, LIL SAD, theres this really awesome guy named BLANK BODY playing too.  Also, Portland homies MAGIC FADES for their fourth time in the 420, and Blank Banshee, a family member I’ve been bugging to get on our stage for like, 2 years.  Come out and watch the show, LIVE, at 4:00PM PST (7:00PM EST) on WWW.SPF420.COM

 

Flyer made by Whtebkgrnd, who is SPF420.com‘s web developer, amazing designer, and also my Dad.  Read this super intimate interview I did with Whtebkgrnd for 1833 here: http://1833.fm/interview-whtebkgrnd-2/

fragrant gates – 40 round

my name is liz and i bought a sun araw t-shirt in 2010.  i told him it was a christmas gift for myself and he sent me photocopies of literature with red and green sharpie handwriting over the literature (very festive).  somewhere in those pieces of paper sun araw said “the fragrant gates of heaven”.  for some reason that really stuck with me.  this song sounds nothing like sun araw, but it was just released and since i’m such a dedicated 1833.fm fam member, i just had to share with you all.  <3

https://soundcloud.com/fragrantgates/40-round

 

fragrant gates on soundcloud: https://www.soundcloud.com/fragrantgates

Superstars – Alone (At The Club)

So, you’re alone at the club.  You get an AIM notification from your girl.  Do you respond?  Do you want to be alone at the club?  Do you want to be alone forever?  How about instead of thinking about your life, you just listen to this track made by GUY AKIMOTO, THIRSTY, MAXO, YOSHI, AND YOURS TRULY, your dearest Lizzy.  Check out the radio hit on SoundCloud.  Check out the track that /should/ be on the radio.  Let the superstars be angels to your ears.  Listen to Superstars on LOVE OUT / IN LOVE, the amazing label that is going to change the world, one SD card at a time.

https://soundcloud.com/loveoutinlove/alone-at-the-club-1

 

GUY AKIMOTO ON SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/guyakimoto
THIRSTY ON SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/imthirsty
MAXO ON SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/maxoelectronic
LIZ ON SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/fragrantgates
YOSHI ON SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/yoshi

INTERVIEW: WHTEBKGRND

http://whtebkgrnd.tumblr.com/
http://whtebkgrnd.tumblr.com/

 

Whtebkgrnd, an artist that currently lives in Portland, Oregon is the web developer of SPF420.com, along with being hands-down my favorite visual artist, ever. I feel that generally speaking, we don’t hear many words from graphic designers – as if they go unspoken, and speak their own language through visual art, but I decided to sit down with Whtebkgrnd and chit-chat with him about cute things (READER WARNING:  THIS IS NOT LITTLE, BUT IT’S CUTE.  WE TALK IN DEPTH ABOUT OUR PITCHES TO MCDONALDS, STARBUCKS, ALSO MORE FOOD).

Liz: What is your favorite flavor of Starburst? This includes all kinds, tropical, special berry fruit, etc
Whtebkgrnd: I keep it pretty standard when it comes to Starburst, except for chrery because that’s horrible. So, my favorite flavor of Starburst is 100% anything-but-cherry. Like, Hi, here’s some delicious candy, but also some medicine.
Liz: That’s how I feel about the pineapple kind though – I feel like it’s horrible. Just seems like they “had” to do something tropcial as an obligation to their fanbase, some polarizing shit we’ve got going on in this interview
Whtebkgrnd: I know right, like, how do you even go more juicy and tropical than original Starburst? “Oh, let’s pick out some of those reject fruits no one can actually believe grows on a tree anyway”

Liz: Do you consider yourself pure for liking the 4 original flavors, or do you consider yourself an ‘old fart’?
Whtebkgrnd: Well, I’d say pure, because old farts are totally the people who had their lives validated by all the red packs.

Liz: Would you ever give a 1-pound bag of cherry Starburst to your grandmother as a gift, or do you think that would be an insult to not just yourself, but also her?
Whtebkgrnd: I feel like that’s a great way to get a haunting. I mean, the woman probably has lived her whole life dealing with life’s disappointments, but when she opens the box and sees that it’s an only cherry bag, terrible thought.

Liz: Nick Carter vs. Justin Timberlake – who would you rather kiss?
Whtebkgrnd: Eee, I dunno, Justin totally has a better face to kiss. Nick looks way too cold and clammy when it comes down to it. I feel like Nick is the wrong part of the mall and Justin is the Nordstrom anchor
Liz: Like, Nick Carter is in the “Payless Shoes” part of the mall?
Whtebkgrnd: Not even Payless, I’d say knife store/fantasy supplies
Liz: A store with nag champa candles, dungeons and dragons statues?
Whtebkgrnd: Yeah, like, way too many things that do nothing, might have a cape or two and like more “do not touch” signs than actual products.
Liz: Yeah, but don’t you ever think, when you go to those stores, “Thank god this isn’t MY style”?
Whtebkgrnd: Oh yeah, I mean I’ve tried to go in all positive and be like, “Maybe I’ll get that cool dragon statue/letter opener”, but y’know how it is. That dragon thing was like, $199. No way in hell.

Liz: What is your favorite Fanta flavor?
Whtebkgrnd: Oh snap. Strawberry everytime.

Liz: Faygo flavor: Go.
Whtebkgrnd: Moon mist. I just found out there was a blue Faygo Moon Mist. Berries with a real kick!

Liz: Best quick response we could ask for over here at 1833. Moon Mist. The traditional. Maybe you’re right, Whtebkgrnd – we are not old, just… pure. What is your opinion on the Eminem Vs. Insane Clown Posse war that occured in the early 2000’s?
Whtebkgrnd: I thought it was very nice of Eminem to give ICP some of his time. They really put a lot of hard work into their shtick and for someone like Eminem (who has that Dre backing) to reach out was really great. I think it helped both of them a lot, and who knows, maybe we wouldn’t have miracles without it. Plus, there’s a Wiki specifically for Eminem Feuds.

Liz: Did you know, that ther really are miracles on Earth – they fixed their ‘beef’ by one of the members of D12 taking Insane Clown Posse out bowling. Do you like to go bowling?
Whtebkgrnd: I love bowling. I hate going bowling because I’m so good at bowling. Like, I can’t go out to parties because I’m always killing it.

Liz: What if I said, “Whtebkgrnd, I need bumpers”. Would you publicly shame me?
Whtebkgrnd: I would support you and your bumpers and join you for an awesome game. I really feel like bumpers are a legit option for a different take on bowling.

Liz: It isn’t about bumpers being “easier”, it’s actually a creative way to bowl, like, a zig-zag effect that in a traditional bowling game, would automatically lose. I think it’s good that you respect my love for bumpers. It ties into your art a bit, don’t you think? Do you ever bowl with bumpers and think, “Zig zags, or that weird line I just drew with this ball – I’m gonna draw this out on Photoshop?”
Whtebkgrnd: I do take in lots of zigs and zags and such wherever they may be, but mostly I take the inspiration from the food area of the bowling alley. Most are immaculate time capsules and that’s hella chill.

Liz: Other ‘food area’ or ‘restaurant’ imagery that affects you? Early 90’s Taco Bell? Chi-Chi’s? Pizza Hut, even the feeling? Does Dave And Busters do anything for you?
Whtebkgrnd: I actually spend a ton of time at Dave And Busters in Houston
Liz: What draws you to Dave and Busters?
Whtebkgrnd: It was like, down the road and I guess my dad liked going there too. I loved it, but I feel it lost it’s initial charm after a quick remodel. More importantly, was the building down the street from the Dave and Busters – which was a weird Memphis milano knock-0ff styled building. Just a strip mall kind of thing and some offices upstairs. Either way, I drove past that thing almost every day. It has a big fake cactus and it’s awesome.

DAVE AND BUSTERS

 

Liz: What other restaurants or vibes draw you in to inspire you with your art?
Whtebkgrnd: Taco Cabana, old Wendy’s, and James Coney Island. Taco Canbana is so perfect a dude ripped it off 1-for-1. They haven’t changed a thing and their food is off the chain. Taco bell, on the other hand, has, let’s be honest – been letting us all down. Where’s the Salsa Verde Doritos Loco? What’s the deal? Killing the Volcano Taco, just another reason we can’t trust a restaurant that sells clothing. I’m looking at you, Hooters, and Hard Rock. I would look at Planet Hollywood but why even bother. Also, I think al two-story McDonald’s are inspirational.

Liz: Have you ever seen a two-story Wendys?
Whtebkgrnd: I think so, yeah, in NYC. I might be wrong and it was just like a few steps up or down. But either way, McDonald’s really knows how to work with more space. We should all treat McDonald’s with more respect. I think the worst part is the division of fast food now, it needs to unite. I alos think a lot of people would be ashamed to read what I’m saying right now.
Liz: I think my favorite accent to McDonald’s was in about, 2005, they had a baby grand piano inside.
Whtebkgrnd: Those were weird times, I feel like they were a bit bored right about then. But it was kind of great, almost every one from that time, I remember going in, was different. Don’t forget the Nintendo 64 stuff they put in, too.

Liz: During the Nintendo 64 era of McDonald’s, did you ever have to deal with broken machines? Seems like they were abused, and not well-taken care of. Felt like McDonald’s could have started an ‘arcade’ out of this, really extending their branding.
Whtebkgrnd: Yeah, they really dropped the ball on that one. Although I can’t really put all the blame on them for the run down Nintendo 64’s, their controllers were ripe for breakage. I mean, I had some controllers at home with the same problems and less child/hand abuse. But that’s why they make real arcade machines.

Liz: Have you ever been to a McDonald’s birthday party?
Whtebkgrnd: Yeah, thankfully, I attended many McDonald’s parties. I’d totally eat some shitty burgers and shakes and fries if I was playing videogames all day.

Liz: What is the LEAST amount of fun you’ve ever had at a McDonald’s birthday party?
Whtebkgrnd: I think I got taken to one and had to leave before food even happened. Like, why even bring me! That kid probably doesn’t even remember that I showed up.

Liz: What were your summer vacations like?
Whtebkgrnd: My summer vacations varied, I was basically sent to some form of camp until I was about 10, then it was staying at home. Texas isn’t fun in summer so it was inside, then a trip to the anime store, then back inside.

Liz: What was your average anime store trip like?
Whtebkgrnd: Brave the heat/humidity, get some Gundam model and dream of a day when they would actually have at least 1-full series on VHS to rent.

Liz: Is there any scent in particular from your childhood that still triggers you today?
Whtebkgrnd: Sadly, only zoo smell and Greek orthodox incense. Which are like, the lamest scent triggers.
Liz: Zoo smell seems like a sad association, do you feel sad when thinking about it, or like, nostalgic warmth?
Whtebkgrnd: Totally nostalgic warmth. Yeah, it smells like exotic animal dung, but you can springboard from there. Maybe it’s some new drug I need to write about. “Hey, go smell a bunch of zoo smell, and then you can go *anywhere* in your memory!” I’m pretty sure most of the other smells that would trigger memory are from things that we, as a society, have realized were probably not the best – like diesel exhaust.

Liz: Do you have a favorite Spice Girl?
Whtebkgrnd: Early: Ginger – Late: Scary. I feel that’s fairly self-explanatory. I briefly followed after Gingers departure. It went by so quickly. Damn shame. S/O to the Jewish Community Center Houston for letting us use the old people TV to watch some Spice Girls MTV special.

Liz: Kill, Marry, Fuck: Hello Panda, Yan Yan, Pocky
Whtebkgrnd: Already in order. Yan Yan is totally marriage material.
Liz: Why do you feel that way? Like, the fact that you can dip on your “own terms”, the mutual respect?
Whtebkgrnd: Yeah, I’m a huge fan of things that leave me that option. So, Dunkaroo’s, those cheese and cracker things, and Yan Yan’s, vanilla Yan Yan’s, delicious.

Liz: Yeah, I love those cheese and cracker things. Did you bring those to school as a kid, or were you the jealous kid who never got to bring them to school?
Whtebkgrnd: Oh, no, I was totally stocked on those.
Liz: I was the jealous kid.
Whtebkgrnd: Hah I am so sorry. Did you get fruit leather?
Liz: No, my parents never joyed me. I might have had to trade Yugioh cards to get some of the snack gold.
Whtebkgrnd: I just got like, cheese sandwiches or PB&J, but my snack game was off the charts. I was always trading ’cause I was on the adderalls, and by that, I mean, the devil drug stole my child-level hunger.
Liz: So you slung your Handi-Snax for some Yugioh?
Whtebkgrnd: Man, I didn’t even think to trade for anything beyond a soda. I also saved so much money from Pizza Friday’s.

Liz: Have you ever counted how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Whtebkgrnd: Hell no, as far as I’m concerned, I want infinite licks so I never get to that center. Blow-pops, on the other hand, that makes sense. Tootsie pop? Yeah, I’m gonna eat this orange-flavored thing, and then bite into this delicious earwax core, this ignites my 1930’s taste buds. I mean, it’s already offensive when people give you a tootsie pop in 2015. These aren’t hard times, we have flavor now.

Liz: How did you tell the first person you liked, that you liked them?
Whtebkgrnd: Totally passed a note, but she sat across from me in those elementary school desk clusters so it was mad easy. Then, after that, I developed the fear of talking to any crush, which I continue the tradition of, to this day.

Liz: You meet the person of your dreams. What do you plan as your first date with them?
Whtebkgrnd: Oh god, I’m terrible at dates. I apparently wooed my current girlfriend with hours of ridiculous television and movies, and sealed the deal with Nicolas Cage’s “Valley Girl”.

Liz: How many files on your computer begin with profane words, such as “fuck.jpg”, “pissshit.wav”, etc?
Whtebkgrnd: Surprisingly, only 31! Most are more reminiscent of groans, so like “ughhghghghghghh” or “COMEONANDWORK_2”

Liz: You have to sit at lunch with either the Casio or Yamaha ‘clique’. Who do you sit with and why?
Whtebkgrnd: Casio, I could never pass the Yamaha-crew grade. I mean, I feel like Yamaha, they wanna talk about music theory and stuff, while I just wanna make some beeps with a sick beepy drum loop. I bet the Yamaha table is pretentious about salads.
Liz: They probably like walnuts and white vinaigrette.
Whtebkgrnd: Ha, jokes on them, they were pecans.

WHTEBKGRND
WHTEBKGRND

 

Liz: Favorite Kid Cuisine?
Whtebkgrnd: Cosmic Chicken Nuggets. Also, I might add, any Halloween-themed Kid Cuisine was a favorite.

Liz: What’s your favorite condiment?
Whtebkgrnd: Fry sauce – 1 part ketchup, 2 parts mayo.

Liz: Do you have any other cute things to say?
Whtebkgrnd: One time I held a sloth, that was pretty awesome and humbling.

If you like Whtebkgrnds cuteness, you will love his artwork. Check him out on Tumblr and also Twitter.

Dear Lizzy: Vol 6

Dear Lizzy,

Taco Bell or Wendys?

Ryan (@skylar___spence)

Ryan,

Thank you so much for coming to me with this important question. Taco Bell or Wendys. Do I want a hamburger, or do I want a quesadilla. Sometimes you have to think about your food decisions similarly to the music you listen to – you want to spice it up. Wendys is such a standard, classic food choice. The best part, if you really want to “go in”, you can add a 10 piece chicken nugget to the side, along with your combination meal. Also, Wendys carries Coca-Cola products, and we all know that Coca-Cola is the fucking bomb.

……But that’s where Taco Bell “gets you”. Maybe sometimes you don’t always want the classic, the standard hamburger and french fries with Coca-Cola or sometimes Mr. Pibb to drink. Maybe you want to try every variety of “mexican” food on Taco Bells menu……and a Baja Blast to accompany you. The menu changes so frequently at Taco Bell that it I feel it is imperative to go to them at least once a month. Have you had the new bacon and chicken quesarito?

Ryan, the truth of all of this is: Go with your heart. One day you may feel like being classic, and that’s when you drive your heart to Wendys, just make sure that you observe menu options for anything new that sparks your eye. For the days when you are feeling a bit “saucy” (ha! Maybe even on “fire”)!, go to Taco Bell. Always observe the Taco Bell menu before ordering, even if you think you have your heart set on anything – Taco Bells menu is a fleeting love, at times. Just make sure to get a Baja Blast for me.

For more dillemas on what you should do with your daily life, even down to what you should eat for dinner, e-mail Lizzy at liz@spf420.com

Premiere: cash wednesday – cash wednesday

it’s cash wednesday!  and this week they’re truly cashing out.  if this doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks, then either it’s the wrong day of the week, or you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  even pat sajak is telling you that you are a winner with this new hot track.  just be weary of how fire this track is, you don’t want to set all your cash on fire.  check out cash wednesday on soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/cash-wednesday

Dear Lizzy: Vol 5

Hey everyone!  Sorry I’ve been away from the advice desk recently.  I have received some good questions while I’ve been gone but I just want you all to know:  I’m here for you!  Come to the #1 advice column on the internet.  I’m a Libra, therefore I believe in balance.  I give good advice for that very reason! 😉

Today we have a question from an anonymous person, and might I add, this was quite a difficult question to answer.  Here goes.

Dear Lizzy,

How to make growing up/being an adult not suck so much?

– Anonymous

Anonymous,

I didn’t like growing up. Being an adult isn’t much fun either. I have to constantly think one step further than I am currently on. Then, I feel the anxiety that I actually am 2 steps behind. My power bill is due today. Something like $21.50 for my share. It isn’t too bad, but if I don’t pay it today, then my service will be disconnected. So, I figure I could call, yeah sure. I will call after I write this. I didn’t feel like calling yesterday. I’m not exactly one step ahead when it comes to paying my bills. I’m like, one step behind. This isn’t helping very much, huh.

Ways to make being an adult easier: Enjoy eating cereal – I promise this is one great way to have a youthful spirit at the age of 25. I eat a bowl of cereal almost every day. I take it with a vitamin – that’s another part of growing up that sucks. People think you have to take vitamins that are like horse pills, but NO! There are gummy vitamins for adults too! Ok. I’m realizing that this advice doesn’t make your adult life EASIER, just a little bit more fun, relieving the fact that you’re an adult.

There’s nothing to really make being an adult easier. Despite my power bill being due today, I still have some pretty awesome things that remind me that life isn’t so bad. I have wonderful friends (like you!) asking me questions, I have a cool bag of kush, and I have a box of French Toast Crunch in my fridge. I have great music to listen to, and I appreciate everything in my surroundings, no matter how childish and novelty or how antique and handmade it can be.

I guess the number one tip I have is: Don’t think about being an adult. You will feel incredible. For more advice about being the most incredible person you can be, e-mail me at liz@spf420.com