ashley ray is a freelance writer with bylines in Vice, The AV Club, and Autostraddle. You can check out her personal website right here.
Is your existence as compared to your nonexistence something which can be justified?
No. My constant struggle involves wondering if everything would be better if I didn’t exist at all. The best we can come to justifying our existence is in the community of others. I know that if I ceased to exist in this moment, my friends would be sad. Of course, if I had never been born in the first place, they’d be absolutely ok in that alternate reality. But, all I have is the reality I’m in now and the people who currently surround me and I think they’re all pretty happy that I exist. I hold on to that feeling.
How do you manage ennui?
Self-destruct. Start over. Burn it all down. I find something in my life and I end it. Relationships, habits, hobbies, jobs, whatever––it doesn’t hurt when everything is ephemeral. I guess destruction is a pretty big response to the ephemerality of ennui, but I’m a Sagittarian and I literally hate boredom more than stubbing my toe. Force yourself to end something and it’ll usually make you start something. My favorite Adventure Time quote is when Finn is freaking out after a break-up. He’s bored and stuck in the house because of a sword storm and Jake is just like, “You’re getting all hung up on imaginary problems. You gotta focus on what’s real, man. You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup. Now it’s gone forever. So it’s not real, and I don’t care about it anymore.” I just always forget about the part at the end of the episode when he’s desperately trying to get his cup back.
How do you make earnest connection in a world of instant gratification?
I’m incredibly selective with the people I choose to form deep connections with in the world. It took me a long time to learn that even delayed gratification can lack depth and the best chance we have of honestly connecting with someone is by being honest about what we want when we want it. I am also perpetually single and I’ve scared away nearly every person I’ve dated and a few friends by doing this, so I don’t know if I’d recommend it. idk, maybe just be chill?
Do you think trends are accelerating faster than ever?
Yes and no. I think we’re just regurgitating things faster than ever. Trends are never new, but right now we have the ability to discover our parents’ generation’s old outfits and music at a rate never seen before. We have access to almost every trend that has happened in human history. I hope we work our way through as many of them as we can before trump blows this whole thing up cuz I’m out here knowing I could pull off high-waisted bloomers.
What gives you the right?
Absolutely nothing.
