Dear Lizzy,
How can I spice up a relationship?
-Anonymous
Ooooh wow! My first anonymous question, and probably the hardest question of all time. So, I assume that you’re writing to me because you have an expired product that you’re still trying to use – I eat expired food all the time, but I find ways to make sure that I am not going to get food poisoning. Like, with expired bread – I put it in the toaster, for some reason that makes me feel better. I think that’s what all of this is about – the comfort of knowing that you are trying to save yourself via a product that is seeing itself come close to expiration.
To spice up a relationship, I would def. include your partner in most of your tasks and daily thought. When you shop for items at a store, try to shop for both of you – not just yourself. When you hang out with your partner, try to give them a tiny gift when you see them – they will collect and cherish these little trinkets. Ensure that you are both giving each other the mutual affection you deserve. Remember that spicing up a relationship doesn’t mean to throw 100 jalapenos into a pot and stirring. You don’t want to make your partner feel overloaded. Spicing should be done with ease. Text message your partner to tell them good morning and also goodnight – it ensures them that they are the first and last thing on your mind, and likely on your mind all day.
Just constantly keeping that person in mind will spice up the relationship. They will be able to feel this and will want to encompass themselves with you just as much as you want to with them.
Asking your partner what “We” should do, or sometimes leading the direction and asking if it is okay if they want to go to a museum, a SPF420 show together, or listen to records together – just ensuring that the words “we”, “together” are utilized. You are a union of two people, you need to remember this! Your partner, typically, will latch onto this after seeing a pattern develop, and will follow suit.
Another dash of spice to a relationship is esoteric language towards each other, things that nobody else can understand but the two of you. If you have your own language, you can speak for an eternity in your own world.
If you feel that your partner is not enjoying your medley of spices, attempt to add new spices. There are thousands in the world – but coming up with the medley is all in your head. After so many experiments of making spices, there comes a point. Make sure that with these attempts, that you’re not losing your OWN flavor. Essentially, the goal is to feel better, to make your partner feel better, to unify each others emotions and be as one.
Take it from me, I’ve matchmade and have seen two marriages, one ended up in a divorce, but hey! I know the perfect balance of a nice, healthy relationship. For more advice, e-mail Lizzy at liz@spf420.com
